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Home Personal Perspectives Personal Perspectives "After dating a couple months he sat me down and told me he had herpes . . ."

"After dating a couple months he sat me down and told me he had herpes . . ."

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A few years ago I finally found the strength to walk away from an awful relationship. I never thought I would love anyone again, but a few months later I met the greatest guy. He was sweet, fun, had an amazing smile, and always made me laugh. We effortlessly began dating and everything seemed to be falling into place. After dating a couple months he sat me down and told me he had herpes.

I didn't know what to do. I had heard of herpes but didn't actually know anything about it, and all I could do was cry. He found out two years before--his partner at the time never told him she had it. He promised he would never put anyone at risk without them knowing, and I was the first person he ever told.

At first I didn't think I could deal with it, but I also couldn't see myself walking away from such a great person. I began to research it and decided to give him a chance. We've been dating for two years now and he makes me happy everyday. It's still scary sometimes and is occasionally frustrating but we try to deal with it as much as possible.

We try to avoid risking my health but it’s never completely safe. We recently had sex without knowing he was beginning an outbreak. I'll admit--I'm terrified. I'm afraid of having an outbreak, of the pain and emotional issues it might cause. But I knew the risk and I also know I won't have to face it alone. I'll be going to get tested soon and we're both hoping for the best. In the end, I know our relationship is full of love and support. The ASHA website has been a tremendous help, the information helps us face this and make decisions together. For those of you who have recently been diagnosed, know that a loving relationship is possible when you find the right person.


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